exit interview
listening to:
goo goo dolls
mood:
coping
2007-03-06 - 8:59 p.m.
how do we cope?
how do I cope?
my identity has been wrapped up in my professional career for the past several years. I guess this is how moms feel when they have been wrapped up in mothering for years without any other outlets for individuality... but, when they look around... they still have something... they still have a product of their hard work... they made people. I am so disappointed in my peers, in my boss, in myself. I would like to start my exit interview with an apology. that is the type of person I am. so silly. I don't play victim well. I have said that before. As I sit here on the eve of my resignation, I know in my heart it is the right move. I know there are horizons out there that are waiting for my excellence, for my individuality, for the beauty and love that I can bring to this world in whatever small moments they happen. I also know that I am departing from a life I have known for many years. Years spent trying, doing, being that will all become awash. I know that I am leaving for very good reasons. I know that the environment I work in is hostile and unforgiving. I know that with each day I stay in that environment my soul wears thinner and thinner, and my self esteem more buried in insecurity. I am 32. I want to fall in love. I want to have children and a family. I want to have my own business. I want to make millions of dollars and become a philanthropist of the arts. I want to paint. I want to be happy again. I feel so let down. I had big hopes. I guess it is time to really let them all go.
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