listening to:
roger waters
mood:
so yucky - i can't stand it!
2007-02-09 - 4:44 p.m.
the whiff of cologne as he walks by makes me nauseous. there was a time when it didn't. there was a time that when i smelled it, i was lifted up into a good feeling, elating cloud of desire and happiness. when he used to yell and engage in utter outbursts of excitment, i used to smile and indulge in the feeling that I liked it. now, it pierces my ears and makes me want to run away and hide. it is abrassive. i have changed. i have become a different person, and i have no more tolerence for the highschool attitudes within the already sexist workplace I reside in. Would it be so bad if I ditched out of the trip? I feel awkward and like such an outsider. Will I bond with people? Or will I feel more and more like an outsider?
Wow. my chemicals are so out of whack today. I have come to tears about 6 times. all i really want to do is sleep. I think I might swim.