newness
listening to:
mood:
2001-10-31 - 6:51 p.m.
entertaining the thought of going to far lengths for another person's admiration is fun, especially someone you want to impress. you sit back and watch yourself get worked up and excited about what may come. you talk to yourself about how far you are willing to go, and how crazy you will let yourself become. you start to try new things, you strive to be perfect in their eyes while maintaining all of your own uniqueness and originality.slowly down the line, when certain expectations aren't met, all that stuff has now become part of your new makeup, and well, when the challenge dissipates, maybe you start to look for a novel newness. someone else to impress and gain affections from.
but what happens when A's challenge doesn't wear off? and B and C and D and E, don't quite measure up? stop looking... play grand auto theft 3... go outside for a walk in the city and make fun of daily monotony callously and laugh time away. think of days when you thought you had a purpose outside of work, school, family, relationships.... what is there? music, art, and tv-- movies are included here.
alonetime, i think. downtime. dumb meaningless casual sex. fun. yum!
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