redefinition.
listening to:
mood:
2004-08-13 - 8:38 p.m.
this city is gross in the morning. homeless people, sidewalks smelling of vomit, street cleaners brushing and handing out parking tickets, loud and intoxicating big dinosaur buses, wet streams of water washing urine off the sidewalks... weird grazing glossed over eyes wandering, staring... lost. i scurry down the street, hoping no one will notice me, though i am wearing the bright two toned orange 3/4 sleeve baseball jersey. and i remember what i said to myself the last time i took a walk in the morning, alone, in this city... i told myself, i am only allowed to skateboard in the morning. only allowed to seamlessly glide over all of this, and pass by it as if a super hero flying over the commons.im angry sometimes, very bitterly angry. and other times, i explain to them how i was about to cry for no reason at all, and then start to cry for no reason at all. i laugh. out loud. sometimes i think people who hear me think its fake. maybe it is. maybe its more pronounced to hide whatever withdrawl repressed feelings i have. blah. "drink lots of water" they say. that seems to be the end all. new jersey was brilliantly beautiful. telling. surreal. "Andy Griffith world" he says. i remember so much so clearly while thinking back to the river. the two and a half hour tube rides down the musconectcong. laughing, calling the dogs, making believe this was the entire world- me and the dogs, and occasionally alison. splashing, and swimming, but mostly floating with no control. closing my eyes and seeing the sky through my very own eyelids. breathing. peaceful. cold toes in three year old keds, "river shoes." i feel like it's so sad to get old. redefinition.
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