black barrier
listening to:
broken social scene
mood:
wirey
2006-09-05 - 1:25 p.m.
dreams and schemes... lost pipe dreams. sometimes i get so angry i don't know what to do with my body. i want to throw and thrash and whip and run... i really don't know how to deal with it. it turns inward when the cup is full. it turns and burns and cuts and slices and my pieces come back together. 'why'd you'd have to get so hysterical?'
i had a realization. "of course!" i say to myself. modifying my behavior so that all is happy except for me. stroking egos and letting my integrity slide down to where my friends say, "that's not you," -- cover it over with a smile and laugh and let those tears eek out one at a time in passing. time passing, passing in the hallway over the barrier- the black barrier fades and beams. im going to take a walk and get my head back on.
ps.
went and saw half nelson. love that ryan gosling. he is magical!
previous / next