fires in me
listening to:
in rainbows - radiohead
mood:
hot and bothered
2007-10-23 - 10:01 p.m.
the sky is coated with a thick layer of smoke. the sun peeks through displaying itself as a huge orange pumpkin. its quite eerie.im disgruntled this evening. my ex seems to have invited himself into my dreams. this is the 3rd dream i have had with him in it. weird looks and communication askew. something in my subconscious screaming out. my new job is interesting, fun, new and challenging. though, tonight i am feeling anxious, worthless, ugly and out of shape. ha! i know. i am my worst critic and its ignorance of that inner voice that usually keeps one happy. i am trying to block her out. focus on all the great, but this santa ana heat pierces my discipline. sleep has become my only respite, but damnit... sleeping too long invites the darkness- the things i haven't quite dealt with in my past. it's so hot. what could i want?
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