i want to cry. i want to yell. i want to walk out and never look back. i want to shut the doors that are open and look for new ones. i want to sleep. i want to have sex. i want to disappear. i want to lose weight. i want to tone up. i want to cut myself. i want to cry. i want to meet someone i can love. i want to meet someone who will love me. i want to have babies.