that body
listening to:
fugees
mood:
down
2007-02-09 - 11:59 p.m.
minor detail I forgot to mention, but intended to... a few entries ago, I mention my "two favorite bodies" from the gym. One of the bodies, I am proud to say, I am intimately familiar with and continue to be in awe of the chiselled physique that is unstoppable. The second body... well, I had made eye contact with over a year ago, and i specially remember him eying me down, and I was too incsecure and wrapped up in my single, nonsmoking, obsessive working out self to feel confident enough to talk to him. I would see him around the gym, pretty infrequently, but continually. He didn't really notice me after that initial time... but that was fine, because I just enjoyed watching his body around the gym floor.
Conincidentally, I was out with my friend last week... and we were approached by two men. I will spare you the pick up lines and bar conversation... but one of the boys, who seemed to be very into me, was that body that I had seen just a few nights prior, doing pull-ups. I confirmed this shortly after introductions. We talked and it seemed cool. He asked for my number, and I gave it to him, he texted me, and then.... nothing. ahhhh -- this town. I happened to see him one night at the gym, and I am not sure if he saw me or not (I was undercover with a black baseball cap hiding my face).I am feeling like a reject after the past couple weeks. I try not to get down on myself. This is Los Angeles afterall. People are seeking the movie made life, magazine perfection. Who am I to compete? I am just growing older and seemingly more undesirable. I feel like I didn't even get a fair chance and I've already buried myself in some of these moods. Like... "this is it."
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